What do you call a dog wearing ear muffs?
Anything you want, he cant hear you.

What do you get when you mix an elephant and a rhino?

Hellifiknow.

A duck walks into a feed store and asks, ''Got any duck feed?''

The clerk tells him, ''No, we don't have a market for it it so we don't carry it.''

The duck says, ''Okay'' and leaves. The next day, the duck walks in to the feed store and asks, ''Got any duck feed?''

Again the clerk says no and the duck leaves.

Next day, the duck walks in, and asks, ''Got any duck feed?''

The clerk says, ''I've told you twice, we don't have duck feed, we've never had duck feed and we never will have duck feed. If you ask me again, I'll nail your feet to the floor.''

The duck leaves.

The next day, the duck walks in and asks, ''Got any nails?''

''No,'' comes the reply.

''Got any duck feed?''

there was this tree and a bear and rabit the bear was running after the rabbit well there
was a genny liveing in this tree and it came out and said i well give you each three wishis
they said ok .the bear said for my frist wish
i wish for all the bears in the part of the woods to be female poof they were well the rabitt said i wish for a drit bike poof he got
it and the bear said your the dumest rabbit i ever mett the rabbit said yeah i know the bear said i wish for all the bear in the contry to be female poof they were then the rabbit said i wish for a dirt bike helmet
poof he got it the bear said i wish for alll
the bear in the world to be female poof they were that was all his wish the rabbit said for my last wish i wish for that bear right there to be gay poof he was gay than gay

How many polish people does it take to milk a cow?

9, four to hold the legs, four to hold the udders, and one to tell them when to move the cow up and down.

Q: What do you get if you cross a bear with a toilet?
A: Winnie the Pooh!

Q. What's an insect that always runs away?

A. A Flea

A wealthy man decided to go on a safari in Africa. He took his faithful pet dog along for company. One day the dog starts chasing butterflies and before long he discovers that he is lost. So, wandering about he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the obvious intention of having lunch. The dog thinks, "Boyo, I'm in deep doodoo now."....

Then he noticed some bones on the ground close by, and immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap, the dog exclaims loudly, "Man, That was one delicious leopard. I wonder if there are any more around here?"

Hearing this the leopard halts his attack in mid stride, as a look of terror comes over him, and slinks away into the trees.

"Whew", says the leopard." That was close. That dog nearly had me."

Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put his knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So, off he goes. But the dog saw him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figured that something must be up.

The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard. The cat is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine."

Now the dog sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back, and thinks," What am I going to do now?" But instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers pretending he hasn't seen them yet. And just when they get close enough to hear, the dog says, "Where's that monkey. I just can never trust him. I sent him off half an hour ago to bring me another leopard, and he's still not back!!"