Q: What is the difference between a dog and a fox?
A: About five drinks.

There lived a husband and a wife.One afternoon,the man came from work and saw his wife in the kitchen stragling with house
flies.He asked,dear what is the matter?.
She answered,am killing house flies.
He was suprised and repeated,HOUSE FLIES????
Yes she answered,I got two males and three females.
Then he aske,how did you know?
She answered,the males were on the beer bottle and the females were on the telephon

A veterinarian got a phone call at midnight one night.

The woman on the other end of the phone said, "My wee puppy is together with the dog from next door and I can't get them apart."

The vet asked her if she tried throwing a bucket of water on them.
She said "Yes, but it didn't work."

He said, "Did you try hitting them with a broom."
She said, "Yes, but that didn't work either."

He then said, "Well Ma'am here's what you do. Hang up. I'll call you back. When the phone rings, they will separate."

She said, "Do you really think that will work?"
He said, "Well it just did for me!"

Q: Why do hippoes only mate under water.

A: Have you ever tried keeping a 5 houndred pond pussy wet.

A farmer decided one day that he wanted to breed his prize-winning hog.
So, he put her in a cart and wheeled her to a farm five miles away, to
breed with a high class pig. He paid $20 for the stud fee, and after they
were done, brought his hog back to his farm.

The next day he went out to check and see if she was pregnant, but she was
not. So, he put her back in the cart and wheeled her to a farm that was
ten miles away, bred her with the pig there, who was said to be of higher
class than the first, and paid his $50 stud fee. Then brought the hog back
home.

But, when he checked the next day, she still was not pregnant! This time
he wheeled her to a farm that was twenty miles away, and was the home of
one of the best pigs in the county. He paid a $100 stud fee, and then
wheeled his hog all the way back home and went to bed.

In the morning the farmer was just too exhausted to get out of bed and go
see if his hog was finally pregnant, so he asked his wife to check for
him. The wife came back and told her husband, "Well, she ain't pregnant,
but she's in the cart and ready to go."

why did the man cross the road?

he heard the chicken was a slut!

What do you get when you cross a rooster and a telephone pole?

A twenty foot cock that want to reach out and touch someone.

A: To get to the other tide.