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Flicken The Chicken
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  Animals | 22 сентябрь, 2013

There once was a chicken that was part human. His name was Flicken!he lived on a farm on a planit called Marco.
This planat that Flicken The Chicken lived on was chasing after there moon called Polo! Pola left the orbit of Marco because they did not like it that Marco was controling them.
One day Flicken was hanging around his house eating his breakfast. And out of no where can crashing down was nun other then the moon Polo!!! Flicken ran very fast and right behind Polo crashed and just missed him!!!!!!
That was the whole story!!!

THE END!!

A tourist walks into a curio shop and sees ...
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  Animals | 22 сентябрь, 2013

A tourist walks into a curio shop and sees a life-like bronze statue of a rat.

He asks the salesmen, "How much?"

The salesman replied, "12 bucks for the rat and 100 bucks for the story."

The tourist says, "I'll just take the rat, thanks."

As soon as the tourist leaves the shop rats started crawling out of the
sewers. There were a hundred rats, then a thousand, and then millions.

The tourist was running as fast as he could. He ran to the end of the pier and
threw the bronze rat as far out into the lake as he could. All the other rats
jumped after it and drowned.

The tourist walked back to the store.

The salesmen says, "Came back for the story, eh?"

The tourist replies, "No but I was wondering, do you have a statue of a
Republican?"

A woman, three months pregnant was walking...
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  Animals | 21 сентябрь, 2013

A woman, three months pregnant was walking by a bank when two robbers
emerged from the bank. The security guards and robbers exchanged gunfire
and the young woman was struck in the abdomen. At the hospital the doctors
concerned for the unborn children decided not to do surgery to remove the
bullets. 6
months later the woman gave birth to triplets. Two girls and a boy all
unharmed by
the bullets. Years went by without incident when one day near the childrens 16
birthday one of the girls when to her mother in tears. The mother asked what
the
problem was and she described that while going to the bathroom a bullet came
out of
her. The mother calmed her down and told her the story of the day she was
shot.
Shortly after that the second daughter emerged from the restroom and in
similar
circumstances started the story about the bullet. The mother stopped her and
again explained the story to the second daughter. Suddenly the young boy
crashed
through the door screaming "MOM...MOM!!!"
The mother stopped him and said
"I know you were peeing and a bullet came out." The boy hastily said "No I was
out
back jerking off and shot the dog!"

HEIR A DOG
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  Animals | 21 сентябрь, 2013

TWO FLEES CAME OUT FROM A BAR FULLY DRUNK.SEEING THE CONDITION OF OTHER FIRST FLEES SAYS OK V CAN HIER A
DOG


Soft Balls
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  Animals | 21 сентябрь, 2013

Why cant you ever hear bunnies humping??

Becuz they have Cotton Balls

Dogs Take Their Licks
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  Animals | 21 сентябрь, 2013

Why do dogs lick themselves?
Because they can.

Eskimo cow
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  Animals | 20 сентябрь, 2013

what do you call an eskimo cow?
an eskimoo

Chicken Engineering at Its Finest
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  Animals | 20 сентябрь, 2013

In a recent issue of Meat & Poultry magazine, editors quoted from
''Feathers,'' the publication of the California Poultry Industry Federation,
telling the following story:
It seems the US Federal Aviation Administration has a unique device for
testing the strength of windshields on airplanes. The device is a gun that
launches a dead chicken at a plane's windshield at approximately the speed the
airplane flies. The theory is that if the windshield can withstand the carcass
test impact, it'll survive a real collision with a bird during flight.
Apparently, the British were very interested in this and wanted to test a
windshield on a brand new, high-speed train they were developing.. They borrowed
the FAA's chicken launcher, loaded a chicken and fired. The ballistic chicken
not only shattered the windshield, but went through the engineer's seat, broke
an instrument panel, and was imbedded in the back wall of the engine cab. The
British were stunned and asked the FAA to review the test to see if everything
was done correctly.

The FAA reviewed the data thoroughly and had one recommendation: ''Use a
thawed chicken.''



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