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Some Animal Riddles
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  Animals | 11 сентябрь, 2013

Q: What do you call a dog with no hind legs and metal balls?A: SparkyQ: When is the best time to buy a Budgie?A: When it's going cheap!!!!Q: Where do cows go to have fun?A: The mooviesQ: What do you call a cow with no legs?A: Ground BeefQ: What do you call a cow that can't produce milk?A: A milk dudQ: What do you get if you cross a shitshoo with a bulldog?A: Bull-shitQ: What does a fish say when they hit a wall? A: Dam (Damn)Q: What do you get from a pampered cow? A: Spoiled milk.Q: What do you call a fishes favourite t.v showA: prawnographyQ: What did the bird say when its cage broke?A: "Cheep! Cheep!"Q: What did the judge say when the skunk came to testify?A: Odor in the court!

Lonely Cow in Field
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  Animals | 10 сентябрь, 2013

Q: What do you call a bull in the middle of a field spanking his monkey?

A: Beef Stroganoff

40 Peinguins.
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  Animals | 10 сентябрь, 2013

There was this trucker with 40 peinguins in his truck he was supposed to take to the zoo. In the middle of the road the truck broke down. A person driveing by (lets say his name is Bob) asks if the trucker needs help. The trucker (lets say his name is Joe) asks Bob to take the 40 peingiuns to the zoo for him. Bob agrees. An hour later the truck is fixed and Joe drives to the zoo to make sure all the peinguins arived safely. When he arives the peinguins are no where to be found! Joe drives around looking for Bob. Finally he finds him pulling out of a movie parking lot with the 40 peinguins in his car. "I thought i told you to bring these peinguins to the zoo!" Joe exclamied,
" I did" replied Bob " But I had some money left so I took them to the movies too!"

A carpet layer had just finished
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  Animals | 10 сентябрь, 2013

A carpet layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he'd lost his cigarettes.

In the middle of the room, under the carpet, was a bump.

''No sense pulling up the entirefloor for one pack of smokes,'' he said to himself. He proceeded to get out his hammer and flattened the hump.

As he was cleaning up, the lady came in. ''Here,'' she said, handling him his pack of cigarettes. ''I found them in the hallway.''

''Now,'' she said, ''ifonly I could find my parakeet. ''


Silly worm riddle
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  Animals | 10 сентябрь, 2013

Q - What smells and is shaped like a worm?A - Bird crap.

To bankrupt the other side
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  Animals | 27 август, 2013

Q: Why did the chicken IRS representative cross the road?
A: To bankrupt the other side.

Elephant Fall Into a Deep Pit
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  Animals | 26 август, 2013

This joke involves an elephant who is walking through the jungle. And all of a sudden he falls into a pit and is stuck there. The elephant is stuck in this pit and realizes that he is going to die, so naturally he start to scream.

By chance a chicken hears the screaming of the elephant and decides to investigate. He sees the elephant stuck in the pit and shouts to the elephant: "Don't worry, I am going to save you".

The chicken then calls on the King of the Jungle. The King of the Jungle promptly arrives in his Red Porsche. He throws a rope from the Porsche into the pit, the elephant ties it around himself and the King of the Jungle pulls him out of the pit. The elephant is saved (loud applause).

So grateful is the elephant to the chicken that he promises him that he will one day do the same for him (if the chicken should ever be in mortal danger). As chance would have it, the next week the elephant is walking thru' the jungle and hears the screaming of a chicken. He wanders over and sees that his friend the chicken is stuck in a pit. (ohh, gosh)

The elephant shouts "Don't worry chicken I will save you".

So the elephant throws his tail into the pit. However this tail is too small and the chicken cannot reach it. Undeterred by this, the elephant throws in his trunk, but, alas this also is too small. As a last desperate effort the elephant throws in his his penis. Sucess! The chicken grabs the elephants enormous penis and climbs out to safety.

Moral of the story: "If you have a big dick you don't need a red Porsche to pull a chick."

Of Elephants and Marshmallows
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  Animals | 26 август, 2013

Why did the elephant stand on the marshmallow?

Because he didn't want to fall into the hot chocolate



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