Nature will tell you a direct lie if she can.

One day there were two mathbooks sittin on a school desk. One turns to the other sobbing and says I've got problems- BIG problems.

Never argue with a fool, people might not know the difference.

Was there money on the Ark?
Yes:The duck had a bill,the skunk had a scent,and the frog had a greenback.

12% Monday
23% Tuesday
40% Wednesday
20% Thursday
5% Friday

Almost everything in life is easier to get into than to get out of.

I have seen the truth and it makes no sense.

Good listeners are not only popular everywhere, but after awhile they know something.