All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them. - Walt Disney

-Everyone who ticks him or her off gets a £26,000 phone bill.

-They've won the Readers Digest Sweepstake three years running.

-When asked for their phone number, they give it in hex.

-They seem strangely calm whenever the office LAN goes down.

-They mumbled, "Oh, puh-leeeez!" 295 times during the movie "The

Net."

-Their bank account receives a massive £400,000 contribution made

in half-penny increments.

-Their video dating profile lists "public-key encryption" among

turn-ons.

-Instead of the "Welcome" voice on AOL, you overhear, "Good

Morning, Mr./Mrs. President."

-You hear them murmur, "Let's see you use that VISA card now,

After a very successful career, a former Human Relations guru found herself at the pearly gates.

"Welcome to Heaven," said St.Peter. "Before you get settled in though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we've never once had a Human Resources Director make it this far, and we're not really sure what to do with you, so what we're going to do is let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose whichever one you want to spend an eternity in."

With that St. Peter put the executive in an elevator and went down to hell. The doors opened, and she found herself stepping out onto the putting green of a beautiful golf course. In the distance was a country club, and standing in front of her were all her friends - fellow executives that she had worked with - and they were all dressed in evening gowns and cheering for her. They ran up, kissed her and talked about old times.

They played an excellent round of golf, and at night went to the country club, where she enjoyed an excellent steak and lobster dinner. She met the Devil, who was

actually a really nice guy (kinda cute) and she had a great time telling jokes and dancing. She was having such a good time that before she knew it, it was time to leave. Everybody shook her hand and

waved goodbye as she got on the elevator.

The elevator went up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates, and she found St. Peter waiting for her. "Now it's time to spend a day in heaven," he said. So she spent the next 24 hours lounging around on clouds and playing the harp and singing. She had a

great time, and before she knew it, her 24 hours were up and St. Peter came and got her and asked her to choose.

The woman paused for a second and then replied, "Well, I never thought I'd say this, I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had a better time in Hell." So St. Peter escorted her to the elevator and again she went down-down-down back to Hell.

When the doors of the elevator opened, she found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She

saw her friends were dressed in rags and were picking up the garbage and putting it in sacks. The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her.

"I don't understand," stammered the woman, "yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a country club and we ate

lobster and we danced and had a great time. Now, all there is is a wasteland of garbage and all my friends look miserable."

The Devil looked at her and smiled. "Yesterday, we were recruiting you, today you're staff."

He who shouts the loudest has the floor.

There are only two forces that unite men, fear and self-interest...Napoleon

If an item is advertised as "under $50", you can bet it's not $19.95.

Never try to pacify someone at the height of his rage.

Vuilleumier's Laws For Building Electronic Prototypes: First Law - Any pre-cut equipment is too short; this is specially true of optic fiber cables with expensive connectors at both ends. Second Law - If n electronic components are required, n-1 are available. Third Law (also known as "Selective Gravitational Field") - Any tool escaping manipulator's hands will not necessarily follow Earth's gravitational field, but will land in the most unreachable location in the prototype, smashing on its way the most expensive component of the prototype; this will know only one exception if the tool is particularly heavy, in which case it will land on the manipulator's foot. Fourth Law - When proteup first, thankfully leaving the fuses intact. Fifth Law - Prototype npn blackboxes actually hold pnp transistors, and vice-versa. Sixth Law - A quartz oscillator oscillates at a frequency off the rated one by a minimum of 25%, if it does oscillate at all. Seventh Law - When the prototype has been fully assembled according to lab instructions, a minimum of 11 components are left.