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A Woman From Rowjob
  • 0
  | 15 март, 2013

There once was a woman from Rowjob
She sure knew how give a blowjob
If you want a suck
your out of luck
Cause I married that woman from Rowjob.

Retirement
  • 0
  | 11 март, 2013

My nookie days are over
My pilot light is out
What used to be my sex appeal
Is now my waterspout

Time was when of its own accord
From my trousers it would spring
But now I've got a full time job
To find the blasted thing

It used to be embarrassing
The way it would behave
For every single morning
It would stand and watch me shave

As my old age now approaches
It sure gives me the blues
To see it hang its little head
And watch me tie my shoes

Soul Mate
  • 0
  | 26 февраль, 2013

I've found the perfect lover,
Who could ask for more?
He's deaf, dumb, oversexed
and owns a liquor store.

The Good Ship Venus
  • 0
  | 24 февраль, 2013

Twas on the good ship Venus,
By Christ you should have seen us!
The figurehead was a whore in bed
And the mast was a raging penis.

The captain's name was Morgan,
A homosexual gorgan!
Three times a day he used to play
With his erotic organ

The captain's wife was Mabel
Whenever she was able,
She'd lie prostrate with the second mate
Upon the captain's table.

The ship's dogs name was Rover,
The crew they bowled him over.
They screwed that hound around and round
From Adelaide to Dover.

The captain's eldest daughter
Was swimming in the water.
Delighted squeals revealed that eels
Had found her sexual quarter.

The cabin boy was Pipper,
An artful little nipper.
He stuffed his arse with broken glass
And circumcised the skipper!


He She
  • 0
  | 22 февраль, 2013

I am sure you can imagine,
It's as simple as can be,
The plaq is He & She,
She asked if it would hurt,
"Of course not," he would say,
"It's a simple easy process,
only you and I can play."
She was frightened now,
Tears filled in her eyes,
She was hurting very badly,
It might be quite size,
Suddenly she jumped up,
And gave a little shout,
I didn't think it could happen,
but now i'm glad it's out.
Now if you read this carefully,
It's a dentist you will find,
It wasn't what you thought it was,
It was just your dirty mind!!

Rockclimber
  • 0
  | 19 февраль, 2013

There was a young man,
Who wasn't a very good climber,
He slipped on a rock,
And cut off his cock,
And now he's got a vagina.

love
  • 0
  | 19 февраль, 2013

one day walking on the street i saw a man love at first sight

Bathroom rhymes and graffiti (Part 3)
  • 0
  | 14 февраль, 2013

-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 60
=--------------------------------------

In the engineering building, in small print low on the wall in the front
of the
stall so you had to lean forward to read it:

You are now shitting at a 45 degree angle.

Sure enough, he was right.

-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 61
=--------------------------------------

"Here I sat to take a dump.
Out it squirmed, a greasy lump.
Greenish-black, like melting tar
Or oil from an old used car.
It floats a moment, then it sinks.
My chunky cable - how it stinks!
My ass cheeks tremble, my sphincter sighs,
And cramps of exhaustion clench my thighs.
I weep with pride at my slimy shit,
And ROB is the name I give to it!"

- Lord Byron

-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 62
=--------------------------------------

In one persons handwriting -
I love Amy M.
In someone elses right below it -
Who hasn't?

-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 63
=--------------------------------------

I stink, therefore I am.

-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 64
=--------------------------------------

Written on a bathroom wall:
"Question Authority"
and written beneath it:
"Why?"

-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 65
=--------------------------------------

A sign I saw at a swimming pool once:

We don't swim in your toilet,
so please don't pee in our pool!

-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 66
=--------------------------------------

Another sign seen at a swimming pool:

Welcome to our ool.
Notice there's no P in it.
Please keep it that way.

-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 67
=--------------------------------------

If you find there is no paper,
Use your finger as a scraper.

-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 68
=--------------------------------------

Scrawled inside a toilet stall of a college chemistry building:

For a really high time, call CH3-COOH.

-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 69
=--------------------------------------

here I sit
arms enfolding
my melting body.
I'm wondering of you
as I slowly become one
with the chair that holds me.

Here I Sit
----------
(as I slowly become one / with the chair that holds me)

:1:

Here I sit down, broken-hearted
Trying to push a yet unstarted
Poem into bright creation -
Oh, the pains of constipation!

Hours have passed, I've merely parted
Rump cheeks and effetely farted
Those weak blasts of wind excluded
Nothing concrete has extruded!

Other assholes far more shitten
In their time have poems written
Am I such a fucked up nerd
That can't shit a single turd?

:2:

As I sit disgorging vapour
My pen rests on toilet paper
Spreading ink out from its tip -
Till the fragile sheets will rip,

And create a sphinctral fissure
Which the pen, with lightest pressure,
Will advance through, triumphally
... deepening my melancholy.

Save me lord from poet's clog!
Spare me this cramped stinky bog!
This unending waiting on
A clammy bum-unfriendly john!

:3:

No! I will not sit and mope!
Yes! I'll sit, with rumbling hope
To my tum a glow imparting,
Wishing shitting, faintly farting,

Till my muse gets off her butt
And proceeds to squeeze my gut -
Then will plop a finely worded
Poem, goldenly bemerded,

In a blaze of spice (and fury
of the evening's hot tandoori
chicken ...) and in one grand motion
I'll have spewed my gut-emotion!

:Epilogue:

So I *will* sit, spouting gas
Even if, in hours that pass,
Crap coats brain and blood runs shitten -
I won't rise till something's written!

-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 70
=--------------------------------------

In the Crown & Anchor Pub Ladies Room (Austin, Texas)

If you can't trust me with a Choice,
How can you trust me with a Child?

-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 71
=--------------------------------------

Seen in a college chemistry building's men's room:

Flush twice - this has to go all the way to the cafeteria!

-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 72
=--------------------------------------

Sticker attached to electric hand-dryer in public restroom:

Push button for a message from Congress.

-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 73
=--------------------------------------

Seen in a bathroom at a truck stop near Las Vegas, Nevada:

There used to be a Mexican joke here...but it slid off.

-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 74
=--------------------------------------

Various graffiti written into the grout:

Alexander the Grout
All creatures grout and small
Down and Grout
Grout Expectations
Grout Expectations
Grout Googly Moogly
Grout balls of fire
Grout dane
Grout expectations
Grout fishing in America
Grout of sight, Grout of mind
Grout scott
Groutful Dead
Saur Grout
Sometimes a Grout Notion
The Grout Divide
The Grout Gatsby
The Grout Groutdoors
Take me grout to the ball game
Three Strikes You're Grout
Twist and grout


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