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на каждый день :)
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Hit by a seagull
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  School | 26 сентябрь, 2013

Kyle and Emmitt, two University of Miami students, were strolling along Miami
Beach during spring break. Suddenly a seagull flying overhead dropped a load.

It hit Kyle right in the eye.

"I'll go get some toilet paper," offered Emmett.

"Don't bother," said Kyle, "He's probably already miles away by now!"

Moma in the toilet
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  School | 25 сентябрь, 2013

your momma is so stupid she locked herself in the toilet and peed her pants

Ways to confuse a roommate
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  School | 25 сентябрь, 2013

These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.3. Twitch a lot.

Tip the pizza delivery boy
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  School | 25 сентябрь, 2013

A college pizza delivery boy arrived at the house of Larry Johnson. He delivered the pizza to his trailer. After giving it to him, Larry asked: "What is the usual tip?""Well," replied the youth, "this is my first trip here, but the other guys say if I get a quarter out of you, I'll be doing great." "Is that so?" snorted Larry. "Well, just to show them how wrong they are, here's five dollars.""Thanks," replied the youth, "I'll put this in my school fund.""What are you studying in school?" asked Larry.The lad smiled and said: "Applied psychology."


Anything?
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  School | 25 сентябрь, 2013

A student comes to a young professor's office hours. She glances down the
hall, closes his door, and kneels pleadingly."I would do anything to pass this
exam," she says.She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, and gazes
meaningfully into his eyes. "I mean," she whispers, "I would do anything..."He
returns her gaze, "Anything?""Anything."His voice softens,
"Anything?""Anything," she repeats again. His voice turns to a whisper. "Would
you ... study?"

What A Party!
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  School | 24 сентябрь, 2013

After attending a party for his boss, the life of the party was nursing a king-size hangover and asked his wife, "What the hell happened?"

"As usual, you made an ass of yourself in front of your boss," replied the wife.

"Piss on him," answered the husband.
"You did," said the wife, "and he fired you."
"Well, fuck him," said the husband.
"I did, and you go back to work in the morning!

Rules of the Modern World
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  School | 23 сентябрь, 2013

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
He who hesitates is probably right.
Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.
No one is listening until you make a mistake.
Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.
The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required to press on it.

The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to If at first you don't
succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. rise above your principles.
Two wrongs are only the beginning.
Work is accomplished by those employees who are still striving to reach their
level of incompetence.
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive. (The corollary is:
You never learn to pray until your kids learn to drive!)
The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up. (Project
Management at its best).

Ways to confuse a roommate
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  School | 22 сентябрь, 2013

These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.137. Whenever your roommate brushes his/her teeth, watch him/her do so. Take notes. Write a paper on it, and circulate it around campus. If your roommate protests, say, "The people have a right to know!"



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