An elementary school teacher, well versed in educational jargon, asked for a
small allotment of money for “behavior modification reinforces.”
Her superior saw the item and asked, “What in heaven’s name is that?’
“Lollipops,” the teacher explained

Teacher: Jeff, have you been copying Johnny's test again?

Jeff: But how did you know?

Teacher: On question #1, Johnny put down "I don't know".
And you put down "Me neither".

These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.67. Whenever your roommate is walking through the room, bump into him/her.

A preschool teacher thought it would be interesting for her students to learn to identify different names for the various kinds of meats. One day, she cooked up several different meats and labeled them. As each student took a bite they were asked to identify the animal.

Little Sherry took a bite of the meat labeled beef and correctly said that it came from a cow. Tommy took a bite of pork and also correctly identified the meat as coming from a pig. The last meat was labeled venison. The children chewed and chewed and after numerous incorrect guesses the teacher attempted to give them a hint "what does your mommy call your daddy when he comes home from work at night" she asked?

All of a sudden little Joey jumped up from the back of the classroom and yelled "Jesus Christ! Spit it out, it's Asshole"!

Q: What's the difference between sin and shame?

A: It is a sin to put it in, but it's a shame to pull it out.

Q: What's the speed limit of sex?

A: 68; at 69 you have to turn around.

Q: What's the ultimate rejection?

A: When you're masturbating and your hand falls asleep.

Q: Why did Raggedy Ann get thrown out of the toy box?

A: Because she kept sitting on Pinocchio's face, and moaning, "Lie to me!"

Q: Why is air a lot like sex?

A: Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.

Q: If there is H2O on the inside of a fire hydrant, what is on the outside?

A: K9P.

Q: What did the egg say to the boiling water?

A: "How can you expect me to get hard so fast? I just got laid a minute ago."

Q: What did the potato chip say to the battery?

A: If you're Eveready, I'm Frito Lay.

Q: What's another name for pickled bread?

A: Dill-dough

These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.178. Let your alarm clock go off and refuse to turn it off. If your roommate commets, pretend not to hear anything.

Q: What do college students and deer have in common?
A: They both stand in the middle of the road and stare at your headlights.

A visitor to Texas once asked, ''Does it ever rain out here?'' ''Yes, it does,'' replied the rancher. ''Do you remember that part in the Bible when it rained for 40 days and 40 nights?'' ''Yes, I'm familiar with Noah's flood,'' the visitor said. ''Well,'' said the rancher, ''we got two and a half inches during that spell.''