Q: How many Pisceans does it take to change a lightbulb ?A: None: They concern themselves with inner light.

there was this tree and a bear and rabit the bear was running after the rabbit well there
was a genny liveing in this tree and it came out and said i well give you each three wishis
they said ok .the bear said for my frist wish
i wish for all the bears in the part of the woods to be female poof they were well the rabitt said i wish for a drit bike poof he got
it and the bear said your the dumest rabbit i ever mett the rabbit said yeah i know the bear said i wish for all the bear in the contry to be female poof they were then the rabbit said i wish for a dirt bike helmet
poof he got it the bear said i wish for alll
the bear in the world to be female poof they were that was all his wish the rabbit said for my last wish i wish for that bear right there to be gay poof he was gay than gay

One day, a guy dies and finds himself in Hell. As he is
wallowing in despair, he has his first meeting with a demon:

Demon: Why so glum, chum?

Guy: What do you think? I'm in Hell.

Demon: Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down
here. You a drinkin' man?

Guy: Sure, I love to drink.

Demon: Well, you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, that's
all we do is drink. Whiskey, tequila, guinness, wine coolers,
diet Tab... we drink till we throw up and then we drink some
more.

Guy: Gee, that sounds great.

Demon: You a smoker?

Guy: You better believe it.

Demon: All right! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest
cigars from around the world and smoke our friggin' lungs out.
If you get cancer, it's okay... you're already dead.

Guy: Golly!

Demon: I bet you like to gamble.

Guy: Yes, as a matter of fact I do.

Demon: Good, because Wednesday is gambling day. Craps,
blackjack, horse races, you name it. We even opened up a pai gow
poker table.

Guy: Gosh, I never played pai gow before...

Demon: Well now you can. You like to do drugs?

Guy: Yes, I love to do drugs. You don't mean...

Demon: That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a
great big bowl of crack. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine.
You can do all the drugs you want, and if you overdose, it's
okay... you're already dead.

Guy: Neat! I never realized that hell was such a swingin' place!

Demon: You gay?

Guy: Uh, no.

Demon: Oooh, you're gonna hate Fridays...

Yo' mama so stupid she sent you to rehab because you were hooked on phonics!

One day, a retarded boy and his father decide to take a trip to
the Grand Canyon.

Upon their arival in the giant crack, the father yells out
"HELLOOO!" They hear the echo going "Helloo!" "hellooo"

The retarded boy is amazed at the echo, and tries yelling
something himself, "Yeref erad uauff kaschader!" The echo came
back, "What the fuck did you say?"

During a neighborhood party here, I got into an argument with my neighbor, Van, about presidential politics. Finally, he asked me why I was such a dedicated Republican.I told him that my Father and grandfather were Republicans before me and that I was carrying on the family tradition."That's it?" said my exasperated neighbor. "What if your Father and grandfather had been horse thieves?""Well..." I replied, "I suppose then I'd be a Democrat like you."

Ask the following to a Blonde to see if she is a DUMB BLONDE or a smart blonde...yeah right...

1.Who do want to be most like in life:
A.Vanna White
B.Michelle Fiefer
C.Britney Spears
E.None of the Above

2.In a game of Hide-And-Go Seek, do you:
A.Run when you see the seeker
B.Stay hiding until the seeker finds you
C.Run when the seeker sees you
E.Follow the seeker quietly

3.What happens when you get Alzheimers Disease
A.You loose alot of weight
B.Gain weight
C.Get really smart
D.Loose your memory

4.How do you kill a bird:
A.Hit it
B.Throw it off a building
C.Cook it
D.All of the above

5.What's an important question about pregnancy
A.Is it mine
B.How far along am I
C.Is it a boy or girl
D.What hospital should I go to for delivery

Don't read them this part:

Results:
1.
A=5pts.
B=3pts.
C=2pts.
D=1pt.

2.
A=4
B=5
C=2
D=3

3.
A=4
B=3
C=5
D=1

4.
A=3
B=5
C=4
D=1

5.
A=5
B=1
C=3
D=2

TOTAL:
20 =Official Dumb Blonde; 15-19=Pretty Dumb; 10-14=Not Bad; 9-Smart for a Blonde

Three guys were on a trip to Saudi Arabia. One day, they stumbled into a harem tent filled with over 100 beautiful women. They started getting friendly with all the women, when suddenly the Sheik came in."I am the master of all these women. No one else can touch them except me. You three men must pay for what you have done today. You will be punished in a way corresponding to your profession."The sheik turns to the first man and asks him what he does for a living. "I'm a cop", says the first man."Then we will shoot your penis off!", said the sheik.He then turned to the second man and asked him what he did for a living. "I'm a firemen", said the second man."Then we will burn your penis off!", said the sheik.Finally, he asked the last man, "And you, what do you do for a living?"And the third man answered, with a sly grin, "I'm a lollipop salesman!