1.No we can't be friends, i just want you for sex.
2.The dress doesn't make you look fat, it’s all that f****** ice cream and
chocolate you eat that makes you look fat.
3.You've got no chance of me calling you.
4.No, i won't be gentle.
5.Of course you have to swallow.
6.Well yes actually, i do this all the time.
7.I hate your f****** friends.
8.I have every intention of using you, and no intention of speaking to you
after tonight.
9.I'd rather watch a porno.
10.Eat it??? it took me ten pints to get up the courage to f***.

This couple have just met in a bar, really hit it off and gone back to her place to have wild, passionate sex. After they have finished he lies back with a smug look on his face, "I guess that was just about the best sex you have ever had," he says.

"What makes you say that?" asks the woman.

"Well, every time we did it, I couldn't help notice how it made your toes curl," he explains.

"Oh," says the woman, "that was just because most men wait to take off my pantyhose first."

A small boy was lost, so he went up to a policeman and said, "I've lost my
dad!"
The cop said, "What's he like?"
The little boy replied, "Beer and women!"

You have all the "Dukes of Hazzard" episodes on tape.You can give a summary of all the "Dukes of Hazzard" episodes.You think that Roe v. Wade is a decision you make when crossing the creek.

What do you say to a one legged hitchhiker?

- Hop in.

What do you call a line of blonde ear to ear????
A wind tunnel

Este es un divertido ejercicio de lectura; es un texto difícil de leer en forma continua. Inténtalo leer en voz alta, seguido, sin parar; rápido, pero sin correr.

Este gato está vivo.
Este gato es vivo.
Este gato la ve fácil.
Este gato forma círculos.
Este gato de mi casa.
Este gato tener fiebre.
Este gato a la hora.
Este gato un rato.
Este gato pendejo; pendejo gato.
Este gato entretenido él sólo.
Este gato por gato.
Este gato cuarenta veces.
Este gato segundos después.

Ahora lee solamente la tercera palabra de cada línea.

Tiger Woods went on holiday to Mississippi, while he was on vacation he decided to go for a game of golf to get a little practice in.
As he arrived at the course he is stopped by the green keeper.
"Sorry" says the green keeper, "we don`t allow coloured people on this course" he says." In fact if you want a game theres a course just a 4 iron away for your sort" he says. " Don`t you know i`m tiger Woods?" says Tiger. " Oh i`m very sorry then sir, I didn`t recognise you, in that case it`s only a six iron for you then"