From Mom's Dictionary...
Amnesia (noun)
Condition that enables a woman
who has gone through labor to make love again.

A variety of meat.

Rarely served as it clearly
crosses the line between a cut of beef and a piece of
dead cow.

Recipe (noun)
A series of step-by-step instructions for preparing
ingredients you forgot to buy, in utensils you don't
own, to make a dish the dog won't eat the rest of.

Bernadette \burn'-a-det\: The act of torching a mortgage.Burglarize \bur'-gler-ize\: What a crook sees with.Counterfeiters \kown-ter-fit-ers\: Workers who put together kitchen cabinets.

32 bit extensions and a graphical shell for a 16 bit
patch to an 8 bit operating system originally coded for a 4 bit
microprocessor, written by a 2 bit company, that can't stand 1 bit of
competition.

To walk up and down a mall. occasionally resting to make a purchase

The wife says: How much do you love me?The wife means: I did something today you're not going to like.The wife says: I'll be ready in a minute.The wife means: Kick off your shoes and take an hour nap.The wife says: Am I fat?The wife means: Tell me I'm beautiful.

Man
A remarkable animal whose head swells when you pat
his back.