Why do white people go to yard sales in the ghetto?

To get there shit back!

Q: What is blue and shags old ladys?
A: Me in my lucky blue overcoat.

A guy from the deep south comes to New York and he's amazed by the indoor plumbing. He's so intrigued by the way the toilets work that he goes to the Sewage Disposal Plant to check it out.One of the inspectors shows him to the conveyor belt that carries all the bowel movements. As the piles of shit parade by them, the inspector says, "You can tell by inspection who the assorted feces belong to. See that one? I'm sure it's the turd of a Mexican. See the pieces of taco shell, and the tomato seeds? And this next one is obviously the turd of a Chinaman or a Jap, see the fish eyes and the rice in it? And this next one is surely from a gay man."The hick says, "How can you tell?"The inspector says, "It's dented on one end."

What do you call a prostitute with her hand down her panties?

Self-employed!

Submitted by Calamjo
EDited by Curtis

There was an exhibitionist who was taking a trip on an airplane.

At the top of the stairs there was a stewardess who was collecting tickets.

So when the man got to the top of the stairs, he opened his coat and exposed himself.

The stewardess said, "I'm sorry sir. You have to show your ticket here, not your stub."

A man went to his therapist one week dressed in nothing but plastic wrap.

His therapist just stared at him with a look of shock and stated, "Now, i can really see your nuts!"

There was a boy with speach problems and his mother asked him if he could by her a few things at the shops. First he went to the hardware store and he asked for a fucket and the shop keeper says a what? and the boy said a fucket there about that big and you can fill it with water and the shop keeper said oh a bucket so he gave the a bucket the boy went to the bakery and asked for a bum and the bakery guy said a what? a bum there about this small and you can put salad in them and the bakery guy said oh a bun so he gave the a bun then the boy went to the pet store and asked for a cockandspankit. then the shop keeper said a what? then the boy said a cockandspankit there about this big and they bark then the shop keeper said oh a cockinspaniel so he gave him the dog the boy went up to a police officer and said can you hold my bum and fucket while i go chase my cockandspankit

\"Doctor, Doctor\", \"I keep thinking I am in the Special Services.\"
Doctor, \" Calm down man, your just PARA-NO-ID\".