There was to cows one said to the other "what do u think about
this mad cow diease?" the other said "dose'nt worry me i'm a
helicopter.

King Kong the monkeyman hanging from a rubberband he trips he falls he's
hanging from his balls they rip they tear he doesn't give a care.

Hearts and roses and kisses galore...

What the hell is all that shit for?

People get mushy and start acting queer

It is definitely the most annoying day of the year

This day needs to get the hell over with and pass

Before I shove a dozen roses up Cupid's ass

I'll spend the day so drunk I can't speak

And wear all black for the rest of the week

Guys act all sweet, but it will soon fade

For all they are doing is trying to get laid

The arrow Cupid shot at me must not have hit

Because I think love is a crock of shit

So here's my story... what else can I say?

Love bites my ass... Fuck Valentines Day!

Love is a sensation caused by temptation.
When a man sticks his inspiration
into a girl's combination,
to increase the population
of a younger generaration.
Do you get my conversation,
or do you need a demonstration.

Eat me, Beat me, Bite me, Blow me,
Fuck me, Suck me, very slowly.
If you hate it, don't make it hasty,
add the tongue and make it tasty.
I like your style, I like your class,
but most of all, I like your ass.

when i see ya shit,
i put up a fit,
cuz all thay remind me of is when i clean my ass,
and then when i see the grass,
i just pass out and die!

Here I sit,
Same as ever,
Took a dump and,
Pulled the lever,
Toilet clogged,
Overflowed,
Watch out world,
It's the motherload!!!

We've had our good times,
we've had our bad.
Sometimes you've made me happy,
sometimes you made me mad.
I know you've got your failing,
you know I got mines.
Neither of us is perfect,
but it does no good to wine.
Sometimes you forget my birthday,
sometimes you're not so cleaver.
But all of the people in this old world,
you're the one I want to be with forever.

Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray for a man who's not a creep
One who's handsome, smart and strong
One who's willy is thick and long
One who thinks before he speaks
When he promises to call, won't wait weeks
I pray that he is gainfully employed
And when I spend his cash he won't be annoyed
Pulls out my chair and opens my door
Massages my back and begs to do more
Oh send me a man who makes love to my mind
Knows just what to say when I ask, "how big's my behind"?
One who'll make love till my body's a twitchin
In the hall, the loo, the garden and kitchen
I pray that this man will love me no end
And never attempts to shag my best friend
And as I kneel and pray by my bed
I look at the shithead you sent me instead!!! Amen