There was once a lonley girl named alic,
Who used a dynamite stick for phallus,
They found her vagina in South Carolina,
and bits of her tits in downtown Dallas.

Warm eyes, wet lips
Gently touch my finger tips

Soft sighs, silky hair
Longing for me to touch her there

Her begging eyes
Her whimpering cries

Urgent needs of one so sweet
Bring me quickly to my feet

The night is warm, there is no doubt
It's my turn to take the dog out

-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 75
=--------------------------------------

God knows why you're doing this, but...

"I feel so strongly about toilet graffiti, I signed a partition." :-)

-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 76
=--------------------------------------

In the mens restroom a couple of years ago, Hamburguesa restaurant, Old
Town, San Diego, CA (The restaurant has since changed its name; I don't
remember the current name)...

The paper towel dispenser had the usual "Wash your Hands" / "Lavese las
Manos" sign on it. Below "Lavese las Manos", someone had written -
...and his big-band sound.

-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 77
=--------------------------------------

My favorite little anecdote, which I saw written on the toilet stall wall
in the Engineering Building on the campus of Memorial University of
Newfoundland located in St. John's, Newfoundland, Canada, is as follows:

I FUCKED YOUR MOTHER!
to which someone else wrote:
GO HOME DAD YOU'RE DRUNK!

-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 78
=--------------------------------------

Richard Nixon should pull out before it's too late, just like his father
should've.

Humanities Hall, second floor, men's room, U.C. Irvine, early to middle
1970's.

-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 79
=--------------------------------------

It's dated but my favorite is still:

Don't Change Dicks in the middle of a screw,
Vote for Nixon in 72

Found on the wall in Hipps Bubble Room in San Antonio, Texas
(may it rest in peace, demolished to erect a condominium)
Hey! It may be dated but it made me laugh so hard I peed on my shoe!

-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 80
=--------------------------------------

In front of urinal at Baked in Telluride, Co.:

Don't look now but you've got your best friend by the neck.

-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 81
=--------------------------------------

If black is beautiful, I just shit a masterpiece.

-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 82
=--------------------------------------

From the restroom of Maggie Mae's, 6th St., Austin TX.

Why can't we just all get a bong...

-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 83
=--------------------------------------

From the restroom of some nameless crawfish restaurant in the middle of
nowhere off of I-10 in southern Louisiana:

Nixon did for America what pantyhose did for finger fucking...

-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 84
=--------------------------------------

Bill Clinton gave head in college, but didn't swallow.

(to which someone else wrote)

No, but George and Ronnie did and it was the only thing they could do
right.

-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 85
=--------------------------------------

Tell us how long your dick is.

(to which someone else wrote)

I can't find it.

-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 86
=--------------------------------------

Imagine you are reading this as you are trying to take a dump...

Eat shit! 1.9 trillion flies (estimated population of flies) can't be ALL
wrong.

-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 87
=--------------------------------------

This toilet paper is like Clint Eastwood, tough and hard, and takes no
shit.

-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 88
=--------------------------------------

My mother made me a whore.

(to which someone else added)

If I give her the yarn, will she make me one too?

-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 89
=--------------------------------------

Found in mens room Eros Cinema in Bombay

Neighbor's envy, Owner's Pride

This is originally from a TV commercial.

Pull up a chair sit on the floor
I'll tell you a story you've heard before.
One bright day in the middle of the night
Two dead boys got up to fight
Back to back they faced each other
Pulled out their swords and shot each other
The deaf police man heard the noise
Saved the lives of the two dead boys
If you don't believe this lie is true
Ask the blind man he saw it to!

A young couple with a young boy were in an aeroplane that was
going down, fast. There were three parachutes, the pilot had
already taken off with one.

The couple had a dilema, wone they got their parachutes on, they
couldn't hold on to the child. After a few seconds thought, they
decide to save thir own skins.

The couple parachute out, then, after they land, start walking
home. And to their great surprise, their child was sitting in
the living room watching the television.The couple stuttered for
a while, then asked him, how did you get here.

The boy turned from the television, then with a huge grin on his
face, replied.
"Me no silly, me no dumb, me hold on to Daddys bum, daddy
farted, I went zoom, that's how I got home so soon!"

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.
Suddenly Jack unzippd his fly and Jill said I don't wanna.

There was an old lady from hardwick,
By a cricket ball she was struck.
And now it reads on her tombstone,
Hardwick, Hard ball, Hard luck.

jack and jill
went up the hill
to smoke a little leaf
jack got high
pulled down his fly
and jill said where's the beef