Once a pure whit virgin lived by the sea,
She frolicked over pastrol fields her name Virginity.
A sweet young thing of just sixteen,
A rosebud ripe and firm.
She wandered over the verdent hills
Not knowing of the sperm.

Well, Fuck the Giant Penis lived not far away,
His cock was damn near two feet long, he poked one twice a day.
He was an Ivy leager, with vest and pinstripped shirt,
He drove a roadster XKE, that sexed up extrovert.

One day while he was roaming around the rural strips,
He spied her picking flowers there,
That bitch with swinging hips.
He jumped out of the driver's seat and grabbed her by her ass,
He tore off all her clothing and laid her in the grass.

Her maidenhead was busted, the ground ran bloody red,
He poked her til the twilight came, than took her home to bed.
He poked her til the sun rose, she begged for more and more,
He turned that pure white Virgin into a scanky whore!

There was once a policeman
Who stood at a junction
His organ had long seased to function
So every night he fooled his wife
By the clever use of his trunction

K.C. Jones was a mean son of bitch
drove his train in the sewer ditch
Couldn't swim couldnt float
199 turds went dow his throat
had 99 women lined up against the wall
said god lord help me I am going to bang them all
bang 98 backed off
jacked off
and banged the other one

Here I sit all broken hearted, paid a dime to shit and only farted.

1. So your daughter's a hooker, and it spoiled your day...

Look at the bright side, she's a really good lay.

2. My tire was thumping.... I thought it was flat....

when I looked at the tire.... I noticed your cat... Sorry

3. You had your bladder removed and you're on the mends....

here's a bouquet of flowers and a box of Depends.

4. You've announced that you're gay, won't that be a laugh,

when they find out you're one of the Joint Chiefs of Staff.

7. Heard your wife left you... How upset you must be...

But don't fret about it .... She moved in with me

8. Your computer is dead... it was once so alive

Don't you regret installing Windows 95?

9. You totaled your car... and can't remember why...

could it have been... that case of Bud Dry?

Roses are red
Vilotes are blue
I hope you love me
Because I love you

Little Jack Horner,
Sat in the corner,
Playing with Grandma's twat,
Put in a pinky,
Pulled out a stinky,
And said, "My it's beginning to rot".

When I see Shit,
I have A Fit,
Cuz when it comes out of my ass,
It has this gas,
and i start to die,
but then i cry