Nature is a mother.

A skeleton walks in a bar and orders a beer and a mop.

A 54 year old accountant leaves a letter for his wife one Friday evening that
reads:
Dear Wife (that's what he called her):

I am 54 and by the time you receive this letter I will be at the Grand Hotel
with my beautiful and sexy 18 year old secretary.

When he arrived at the hotel there was a letter waiting for him that read as
follows:

Dear Husband (that's what she called him):

I too am 54 and by the time you receive this letter I will be at the
Breakwater Hotel with my handsome and virile 18 year old boy toy.

You being an accountant will therefore appreciate that 18 goes into 54 many
more times than 54 goes into 18.

(AP) The Energizer Bunny, known best for "going and going and going..." passed away last evening at 12:42am.

Upon completion of the autopsy early this morning, the chief medical examiner ruled that the death was caused by acute cardiac arrest, induced by sexual over-stimulation.

Apparently, someone put the battery in backwards and the bunny kept coming and coming and coming...

Foul play has not been ruled out.

One morning at church, the pastor was preaching about what God was and wasn't.

He said "God is neither white, nor black. God is neither male nor female."

After hearing all this, a curious 5 year old turned to his dad and asked -"Daddy, is God Michael Jackson?"

What do you get when you mix an elephant and a rhino?

Hellifiknow.

A black man enters a bar with his gorilla. He says to the bartender, "I would like a beer, and a gin and tonic for my girlfriend here."

The bartender looks at him like he's nuts and says, " I sorry but I don't serve Gorillas in this bar."

The man has an idea. He takes his girlfriend home and shaves her head, gives her a wig, dress, and makeup. Then he returns to the same bar. He places the same order and this time the bar tender gives it to them.

They go and sit in a corner while the bartender turns to his friend and says, "Damn! Did you ever notice how all the good looking Iraqi ladies that come in here, always seem to be with black men.

Marriage: the only sport in which the trapped animal has to buy the license.